Not all those who wander, are lost.
One of the statements that I hold closest to my heart, and that guides me and makes me who I am. I do wander, I do not have a set and defined career path, I really honestly have no idea where life is going to take me next and where I am going to end up. There is something seductively alluring about having a path in life, knowing where you are going next and what exactly you are going to be doing…but there is also something so extremely entrapping about having your life laid out for you. Something asphyxiating and scary.
I am turning 28 years old, and I have no idea what I want to do with my days to come. No ideal job, no career path, I can’t really see myself doing anything in particular. I do know that I want to be with friends, to love them, to make them happy. I do know that I want to work with people, in a team, collaborating and making ideas flow. I do know that I want to work somewhere that makes peoples lives better, that will bring me personal satisfaction from bringing other people personal satisfaction. I guess I prefer the approach of figuring out what you want to do with your life by slowly figuring out what you DON’T want to do with your life. Sadly, or not so sadly, I am a life style person, and will never be a job person….
The world takes all types. There are people who have jobs they love, careers they love, and personal self satisfaction from these jobs themselves. I admire them. Thought I wanted to be one of them. But I am not, nor do I want to be. It is hard however to not listen to the supposedly alluring pre-fixed career path, having a set job and a set purpose can ease the pain of day to day difficulties and challenges. Being “aimless” and having a set of life time social goals means that little things rock the boat, and it is a lot harder to justify and defend, especially in American society (though the argentines are asked to pick their career paths at age 18!). I am who I am however, and I don’t know what I was thinking attempting to choose a career path. Sadness. Missing my friends. Attempting to fill holes. Self doubt. Loneliness. I am sure the list could go on. Reasons to question yourself, who you are and where you stand. But these are questions I came down here to answer, and I am answering them. And haphazardly choosing a career because it sounds nice, and because other people have one is not the right reasons. It is not who I am.
Sorry to philosophically unload on everyone, but sometimes growing pains are better shared. I don’t know what came over me to make me think that I was going to decide my life that easily. I am a wanderer, I don’t plan well ahead of time. And I like it that way. Promise I will have some more and exciting updates about what is going on in my life soon….there are some interesting developments on the way.
