Somewhere along the way I lost sight of some of the basics of living abroad, living in Argentina, and well…being me. I have been working really hard and diligently, everyday plugging away and coming home from work and plugging away more. Databases, administrative work and going to the barrios by day, translations and corrections by night. Working as a volunteer and for free and having to constantly self push and self motivate, is draining and hard on the system. And one morning I woke up, and realized I was bored to death…and pretty lonely. I was working all the time, and really wanted to go out and play, to be rewarded for my work. I was also really isolated at work, I would be there all day, and no one would really be talking to me, and so it was hard to be there….it was getting kind of hard to get out of bed and face these long 12 hour days with nothing but a telenovela and my own home made food to dangle as a carrot at the end of a tiring day.
I had gotten so worked up and into my work, that I had forgotten what I had previously learned about Latin American culture and really about myself….they hold in much higher esteem your social relationships at work than your demonstrated work ethic. Of course they want you to be working, but being close to your coworkers, and having a personal connection with them is as important, if not more important. If there is something I like, it is interpersonal relationships. How could I FORGET that this culture was perfect for me?
So after a rough few weeks, where I was really bored at work, felt really isolated, and really just wanted to come home. Working for free, as I said earlier is a very tricky state to be in, and I had managed to get myself all worked up….until I realized I was swimming against the current. And I should just flow more with it. So I breathed, went to work, and began to just talk to my coworkers and not worry quite as much about how much work I was getting done. Besides, I was practicing my Spanish a lot more by talking…my passive Spanish knowledge (reading, listening) is fantastic, but I need to work on my more active Spanish knowledge (speaking, writing). And a funny thing happened. They started talking back. I started to feel comfortable at work. We have hung out a few times out side of work. They are becoming my friends. I have friends at work. And I want to go to work. I work more efficiently. And I am really happy. Being an inexhaustible work-aholic does not work, neither in this culture nor with my personality. Have a work environment I am excited to go to, a house I am excited to return to, and Argentine friends I am exciting to see….makes me happy and will have a much longer lasting effect than any amount of work I can get done.
glad you were able to get out of that funk!
That’s great Jen. You need to enjoy yourself while doing the rewarding, but exhausting work you’re doing. It becomes tough when you don’t take breaks for yourself!